How to Listen to Music You Hate

Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash

I am not a musician. I have no rhythm and no sense of pitch. But I love music.

I always want music playing, no matter what I’m doing.

A picture might be worth 1,000 words, but 10 seconds of a melody, five beats on a drum, or even a single note is worth many memories. I believe music is the most effective form of communicating emotion from one human to another.

Like any form of communication, you must understand the language for it to make sense. You would never travel to a foreign country and blame the culture for having a language you don’t understand. This is the same for music. You cannot blame the band or genre for being “bad” if you don’t understand the language.

But how do you acquire this musical language?

Living a Country Music Song

This philosophical pontificating met reality in my life through country music.

Have you ever met someone that loves country music? Like, loves it so much they only listen to country music? Have you ever met someone who doesn’t listen to country music? Have you ever met someone that absolutely hates country music with a passion? If you said no to any of these questions, I’m assuming you’ve never been to a Walmart or placed your foot on a city block.

People feel strongly about country music. And a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I hated country music. I didn’t get it. It all sounded the same. Same sound. Same lyrics. So basic. So boring.

I would preach my gospel of hate to anyone who would listen. But my “Road to Damascus” conversion came in the form of a farm.

My cousins live on a hobby farm in Mid-Michigan. One summer, I lived at that farm alongside horses, pigs, chickens, and a pack of dogs.

They always had an old radio playing country music in one of their barns. 24/7, that radio was pumping out country tunes from the local radio station. And every day during my stay, I would try to help with the farm chores and occasionally find myself around that old radio.

I helped muck out the stalls. Stack hey. Feed the pigs. And water the horses. As the days passed, that music started to sound better and better. The music began to synchronize with my day-to-day activities. I began to live the country songs that I was listening to. I now knew what they were talking about in those old country ballads.

I understood why they all talked about staking hay and driving down dirt roads in pickup trucks. I felt what the artist was saying.

So now, whenever a country song comes on the radio, my smile grows big, and my heart escapes to that time on the farm.

I learned that it was my fault I didn’t like country music, not the music. My perspective, life experience, and personality dictated how I heard the music. As I started to shift, my ears began to change until they were aligned correctly to receive the sound waves of that particular type of music.

From then on, I decided to withhold all judgment of music and instead look to push my limits by exposing myself to music I didn’t understand. Instead of labeling music as bad, I shifted my mindset to listen to what the musician was trying to communicate.

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Practicing Musical Theory

The first trial outside the farm was when my brother and our music-obsessed friends began listening to the British indie-rock band Radiohead.

I didn’t like it. No matter how much music they blasted in the car or how much they assured me that this was music genus, I couldn’t get into it.

Not only that, I genuinely thought Thom Yorke was one of the worst vocalists I had ever heard. I felt like my eardrums were being attacked every time one of their songs came on. Despite my absolute disgust, I stayed dedicated to my theory and drove toward understanding this strange band.

It took me over six months of intentional effort, but I broke through my own bias and soon found the bliss of Radiohead.

This self-imposed mission of acquiring a musical taste has led me to listen to everything ranging from classical music to Mongolian throat-singing metal. My eyes have been opened to all the different ways one human can communicate their emotions to another.

Now, when I hear music I don’t like, I immediately feel like there is a conversation with the artists and their audience that I am missing out on. It’s like when you’re at a party, and the group next to you is having a fantastic conversation you want to be a part of.

Tolstoy talked about art as connection. I want to be part of that connection, and you should too.

5 Steps to Listening to New Music Genres

Here are five practical steps that I have found effective in acquiring a taste for a particular musical genre or group:

1. Have the Right Motivation

You will fail if you do this for other people or try to fit in. Make sure your intentions are internal, not external.

2. Search for Adjacent or Fringe Music That You Like.

Looking for cross-over type music can be very helpful.

• Example: What got me into Radiohead was first listening to the first four Led Zeppelin albums straight through.

• Example: To get into “screamo,” I first listened to an indie band called Future Islands, who do a little screaming in their sets.

3. Match an Activity with the Music

Most music has a natural physical parallel. Find out what that is for you.

• Example: Screamo = Working out

• Example: Country Music = Drinking light beer outside on a hot summers day

4. Don’t Force It, and Don’t Give Up

There is a delicate balance between the two extremes of pushing too hard and giving up when you feel resistance.

5. Watch a Live Performance.

Whether going to live or seeing a video of a band performing life can be a true paradigm shift in how you perceive the genre or music group